Why We Shouldn’t End Our Life in The Worst Moments
(Muh. Syahrul Padli)
“The right to live is just as meaningful as the right to choose not to live. We must respect everyone’s choices about their life because we never know what they’ve been through.”
At first, I believed this was the good way to respond to acts of ending one’s life. But lately, I’ve revised my thoughts.
In certain situations, humans aren’t capable of thinking or making decisions clearly, which means such actions are rarely the most optimal choice.
In the worst moments, human actions can sometimes go against the instinct for individual survival — like a parent diving into a wild river to save their drowning child.
Depression works similarly. It’s like parental altruism, except the sacrifice is of oneself to end personal pain, so loved ones are free from the weight of it.
It’s a tragedy when life-and-death decisions are made during a phase of clinical depression. It’s like to fixing a headache by cutting off the head.
I won’t judge those who choose that path. My intention is to provide a perspective for those who still have the chance to reflect before acting on such thoughts.
Allow me to explain this from the beginning for better clarity.
1. The Natural Drive to Survive
Humans inherently have a drive to preserve life as long as it’s possible. On a microscopic level, this drive exists within our cells and translates at the organism level as impulses, desires, or whatever name you give it.
When manifested, this drive can range from what we consider normal to extreme actions. For instance, working a job you hate in an unpleasant environment just for the paycheck is a common example. On the extreme side, someone with no other options might steal metal from a bridge or resort to fraud just to survive.
In the end, life can be viewed as a process of natural selection — the strong survive, and the weak die. But strength isn’t just about power; it’s also about adaptability. Still, If you only see life that way, it can feel hopeless.
Life isn’t just a chaotic struggle of organisms in uncertainty. It’s not merely a food web of predators, consumers, and producers.
Life is open to interpretation. And I choose not to interpret it solely through evolutionary biology. I believe life is about finding a balance between our basic survival instincts and our meaning to those around us. That’s the balance I’m trying to find.
2. Depression and the Emotional Brain
Ending one’s life might not just be a biological process but one shaped by individual meaning — just as my interpretation of life is shaped above.
Our meanings and decisions are processed in the brain, specifically the emotional brain.
Now, you might find that term unfamiliar. Let me bridge the concept.
Humans generally have two categories of brain functions: rational and emotional. When solving algebra equations or integrals, the rational brain is at work. When interpreting someone’s facial expression or reacting with anger to a stranger’s insult, the emotional brain takes over.
In daily life, we rely more on our emotional brain, as this was trained by our ancestors and passed down genetically.
Under normal conditions, the emotional brain decides whom to trust, where to eat, what to believe in, what color of things to buy, and so on. It even keeps us cautious around strangers when traveling. These functions are essential to survival. In many situations, the emotional brain is arguably more useful than the rational brain.
3. The Emotional Brain in Depression
Unfortunately, during depression, the emotional brain switches to one of two modes: fight or flight. The rational brain is hijacked, losing its role as the brake against impulsive actions. The flight mode becomes dominant.
Ending life becomes an act of flight. Life itself is seen as the source of the problem because breathing continues. Existence becomes the perceived predator or threat. Not living appears to be the solution.
An unbalanced emotional brain, influenced by imbalanced neurotransmitters and hormones, draws the wrong conclusions. The instant way out of pain might involve a rope around the neck, poison in the mouth, or a blade carving “barcode” into the wrist.
4. A Final Word to Those in Pain
If, by some miracle, you’re reading this trash while feeling depressed, know this: you are unwell. Your brain’s fuel — its hormones and neurotransmitters — is not in the right proportions. Any decision you make in this state is likely wrong, no matter the perspective, except from the ego’s view.
It’s like electrical currents exceeding a wire’s capacity, causing a fire that burns down a house. If that house is you, its destruction affects others too. Because homes often shelter more than one person, just as your presence resides in the hearts of your parents, children, siblings, spouse, friends, and loved ones.
Takalar, January 20, 2025
References
Nestler, E. J., & Hyman, S. E. (2010). Animal models of neuropsychiatric disorders. Nature Neuroscience, 13(10), 1161–1169. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.2647
Van Heeringen, K., & Mann, J. J. (2014). The neurobiology of suicide. The Lancet Psychiatry, 1(1), 63–72.
O’Connor, R. C., & Nock, M. K. (2014). The psychology of suicidal behaviour. The Lancet Psychiatry, 1(1), 73–85.
Mann, J. J., & Currier, D. (2010). Stress, genetics and epigenetic effects on the neurobiology of suicidal behavior and depression. European Psychiatry, 25(5), 268–271.
Turecki, G., & Brent, D. A. (2016). Suicide and suicidal behaviour. The Lancet, 387(10024), 1227–1239.
Van Heeringen, K., Bijttebier, S., & Godfrin, K. (2011). Suicidal brains: A review of functional and structural brain studies in association with suicidal behaviour. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 35(3), 688–698.
